Just write.

"You guys want to be grown, but enjoy the time you have. Don't wish your life away, it'll be gone and you'll wonder what the hell happened."
" I am like a 50 year old man living inside of an 18 year old's body."
-Tyler Wiseman

When I first met this guy, I honestly didn't expect anything from him but seven months later I realized he has good in him and he keeps the class laughing...or he keeps our corner of the class laughing.

I came into to school this morning with three hours of sleep and I was absolutely miserable but a thank you goes to jakeee for making me smile :)

Yesterday I was upset and the only way I knew I would feel better was if I called him and could not remember when I had allowed myself to be so dependent on someone to make me happy. I have changed, and I am so proud.

my favorite passage of the day is from http://www.mindoverclutter.com/dumpyour.htm :


Dump Your Brain Clutter
by Janet L. Hall

Marcus Aurelius said, "A man's life is what his thoughts make of it." Think about this for a moment..Interesting, isn't it?

As you awake in the morning, your mind races ahead of your body with all kinds of * stuff * pouring in and out. All your thoughts, ideas, chores, and worries that you might have.

No wonder you're tired before your feet even hit the ground. Before you realize it, you're up and running here, running there, going through your morning, unaware of how you even apply the toothpaste on your brush or what body parts you wash first. All the while, stuff is pouring into your head from everywhere, ideas, chores, appointments, commitments, relationships, conversations, past events, the future. This self-talk, we all have it. Random thoughts: worries, fears, negativity, frustration, happiness, joy, freedom, inspiration, and light bulb ideas.

Oh, and the nighttime thoughts that keep you from falling asleep; sleep you so badly need and yearn for. The tossing and turning because you can't seem to shut off the clutter of self-talk that invades your brain, such as the got to do's, forgot to do's, want to do's and could haves, and should haves.

Whatever is bouncing around in your head and heart, let it flow from your pen, dumping your "brain clutter" onto paper. Don't think about what you're writing, don't stop to analyze your words, to plan, to prioritize, if it can be or can't be accomplished, undone, or changed. Just write.

Freak out.

So this past week was so stressful,BUT everything actually ended up going really well. I think I used up all my luck though, I freaked out every day and started to late on way too many things. . I am never procrastinating as much as I did this week ever again.

I am looking forward to: half days. french midterm. weekends in new york. driving myself to go shopping. my summer program in CT! Seeing my brothers again.
not looking forward to: SAT's. AP Tests. Chemistry midterm. Beginning of Tennis Season.
I just watched Ugly Betty and I heard this song The New Pornographers, "Adventures In Solitude" and I loved it.

AAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

Oh my goodness. I have a french speaking midterm tomorrow, I did not know about it. Yeah when did Madame Scarsella tell us this?
English group project due on Friday---> SO SCREWED.
Chemistry test.
History Test.
Shit. Shit....SHIT.