Sunday, August 26, 2007

Sometimes i trip on how happy we could be ..

The so called boyfriend that i have wants to join the army. He wants me to wait for him yet he still continue's to flirt with any other girl like what he is giving is nothing important like it's nothing to me.

I feel like somethings breaking me or maybe it is a deep jealously but it's breaking me tormenting while i sit here waiting for him, till we can talk , i close my eyes and think:
'not that long, it will be ok.'
War i thought couldnt be that bad, but i think , i would never in my life want anything to happen to him.. because i would lose him and i would lose part of me and i would never be ok again.
He doesnt think of what i am going to do when he dies, when he is hurt knowing everyday that something could happen to him. The fact that he hasnt told his family that i am the only one who knows puts pressure on me in ways you couldnt imagine .

And everytime i see him , i try to find the right words to say , to make him stay. So that he doesnt leave..me his family, his friends and everything we have.

3 comments:

Tracy Tillett said...

aww mein, your words make me sad; and all I can say is "Hang in There".

Cherie said...

hi Rachel. Thanks for commenting me! :)

have a nice evening, morning, night. Wherever you might possibly be...

Everything has a reason why said...

Hey... sometimes just saying it can help. say str* out.. don't go... i would miss you too much