Met a guy who had the same wide , dimpled smile like my older brother. It made me think of how long it's been since I have seen him, heard from him, thought of him. When someone leaves and it is to painful to think about it, your brain just represses that memory,so things can be easier.
I wrote two cards today, one for him and one for an old friend. My mom came to me the other day and told me that she had cancer. I sat alone at the table and did not say anything , what was I supposed to say? Why are there so many people in my life who have cancer, why are so many people sick or dying? What I am supposed to say to make them feel better, what do I tell myself to make me feel better? There isn't anything and that is what hurts the most, knowing that pain is coming and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So when I walked into the hospital, I stood there at the foot of the bed and prayed for her life, hoping that she would fight through this.. and win.
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