Back to the beginning or forward?

This weekend, it was great. It was his birthday and I had no idea what to get him, I had known him for more than half my life and I had no idea what to get him for his birthday.
We went out though, alone at last! It was bliss, to actually talk and feel with him and not be connected by the telephone but by our fingers, intertwined, and we had those moments where both of us thought 'this is how it is supposed to be.'
While walking with him I had an epiphany, ' he completes me.' It was not a realization that made me giddy or jump up and down because it had been building up for years and although I am extremely stubborn, I will not and cannot deny the fact of what he is to me. I held onto to him while I had him making each moment last, he loves the fact that I am independent but wants me to be in a relationship with him. The words are hanging in the air over us but he is doing this, having this "thing" so I can be happy. I however and making changes of my own, doing some of things he asked, telling him when I am upset instead of ignoring him. Talking to him about important situations instead of brushing them off and acting like I am fine. Even though I never did it before, I am letting him know in my own way that I need him just as much as he needs me.

Decisons, Precision and persimmons...

Decision making has never been my forte , at the least the decisions that matter. For example I was invited to the capital for a summer intership at the American International University , am I avoiding filling out the application ? Why yes I am , for what reason, I do not know.

I should also learn how to control my temper, Lucien said something to me and i became so upset that when I got back into the car i just threw the ring out of the window that he gave me. Now that I think it over I could have sold the ring and gotten so much money for it . He always gets me upset because I think everything he says hits so close to home. Precision.

The persimmons peom by Li Young Lee that i read years back came to me the other day. My mother bought some persimmons at the store, when i held them i remembered how he described how much they weighed and how it felt in his palm. 'ripe, plump' They were sweet, but not the gross type .. the good kind