“A Broken Heart”

When he talks about “to the heart” he says that even though some of us may look more beautiful or less attractive, more fragile, less human; we all have a heart and once it’s broken it’s a terrible thing to behold.
Because that doctor who always comes through isn’t going to be able to this time. A constructor or surgeon or magician they can fix things that are broken, they can put it back together. But for a broken heart, there is not bandage to help the pain go away or someone to put you back into one piece. There is not estimation time for when you will be back to normal or if you will ever make a full recovery.



It's the hardest thing to mend... a broken heart



You've dug into every book trying to help her
something to put them back,
into one piece
because if they lose them self , then so do you
and you couldn't ever imagine living without them

not in a million years
you break
too
knowing that.. you
cant do anything either
because you saw her heart broken years back

and your the one , who
mended her broken soul together again
all those years ago
you were her saviour
you protected her

But now,
you are the one
you have broken her
and to that
there is no solution
nothing you can do


and o how much you wished
you could fix her
but she was gone,
never to return

19 Minutes

I recently purchased the book 19 minutes. I thought it would be a good book because I loved her other ones, but when I finished it seemed so intense and it scared me. I didn’t know what to think of it. The bullying in it and the mentality of the main character (Peter); he found nothing wrong with killing those 10 people and it scared me that someone could seriously think this way. I didn’t understand the intensity of the book.
After I finished some parts I had to read them over because I couldn’t believe anything like it. Hearing about Columbine because I read the “ She said Yes” book some years back was a shocker in 6th grade. But the Judi Picoult book had a new openness to her book that I don’t think I was ready for. I became so upset at everything, thinking how could someone think this way? People who are bullying don’t realize what they are doing and so when I saw it in school or people gossiping it got me so upset.
The next day, after I read 19 Minutes, my english teacher talked about a student she once had that had stabbed someone and killed him. He had autism or something like it.. She had written a poem on him and everything about him and how he was. The murdering part of it, how unhappy they were, the fact that they took someone’s life was so extreme I wanted to cry. Instead I took a poem a wrote it about 19 minutes. About Peter getting revenge and the people in the book. Then she was talking about some english group for her friends story and the whole time i was about to explode i guess i just didn't realize that things happen like this. And not everywhere is a happy place and you can either sit back and let it happen or do something about.

I myself.. don't even know what i'm doing but i guess i'm still trying to figure it out.

I listened to the podcast of Judi PIcoult talking of the story of Judi Picoult and i realized that for some people school is hell on earth and sometimes we are at fault even if we dont know it.

Dreamland Baby

Sitting there
tapping my foot
listenin' to the music
nodding my head
dreamin off

things you couldn't imagine
because its not real to me

but at the moment
lets smile and hold hands
be together
and leave everything behind
because you and I are the only things that matter
and as far as I'm considered that's good enough
-RN

http://www.iwebmusic.com/code.php?tt=52774&lp=infinite&artist2=Maroon+5&title2=Marron+5+-+Makes+me+wonder

Trust

" Just hold my hand , and trust me to get me through the day. Tell me that you love me and our love won't fade away. Because i wouldnt want to lose you, not now, not ever.. i dont know what i'd do if we were ever severed."



Its all inside us. When we look around and see people with things. We want them sometimes so badly but we don't realize what we have. Sometimes you are so caught up in yourself you don't realize that you are hurting other people around you. In growing up I 've realized that you can never have everything you want. But you can get what you want and need by working hard.

It's the idea of having some things that really fascinates me. I don't even think that if i got them that it would make me feel complete. A lot of things make me feel complete and some people do to. Others know just how to make you feel like nothing..incomplete. Almost.

Today i watched a play and they asked have you ever been betrayed or hurt by a friend? I almost turned around to stare at that person who was right behind me but i caught myself. Somehow even tho i wanted to turn around so bad i sat there because looking at that person and letting them get embarrassed by everybody seeing that they weren't trust worthy just wasn't what i thought would be good. I had this feeling in my gut , i don't know what it was but it almost hurt knowing that someone had done that and still acted the same way and didn't change even though she had lost a friend.
Maybe i wasn't really a friend. Just a person she could find information about and take it and damage me with. I don't know what they were thinking its just told me that i cant trust any and anyone. So i closed myself off for a while. But i realized that even when your hurt you have to let the people who love you help and then you can get through it day by day.