Olympics are on, can't talk.

Anyone who watches me when I watch the Olympics would think I'm crazy. Yesterday I was perched on the stool, clutching an apple watching a 19 year old ice skater boy from Canada. I was mesmerized by his energy and how and the crowd was screaming for him and then he didn't land the triple axel and landed on his butt. And I shouted and fell off the stool. He obviously couldn't stop right after that, he knew it was over for him and to make it worse the crowd did a collective groan to show their agony over his mistake. It is just sad to know these people have been working a majority of their lives to get where they are and one slip or mistake can ruin it all for them.

SHAUN WHITE. His snowboarding was amazing, I had to do a fist pump for his performance. He was the last person to go for the second performance and he saw that no matter what he did he would win the gold; his excitement, his happiness in that moment, I hope I do something one day that will make me as happy as that.

Don't Rain on My Parade

I didn't ! I did. I cannot believe I actually said that. Sometimes I wish someone would tell me to just shut up already.

I wouldn't mind.
really.


So history today, the boys told me I was making a mistake. Should I really be taking advice from them? Well they have good judgment... most of the time, and the one that I expected the most out of let me down a bit. Now I just do not know what to think of it.

Chico is repainting the house in green. He told me that magenta was a color for a clown house or a little girl and started shouting at me in Italian. The furniture is pushed to the corner of the room and the house is in a disarray, but I love it. It makes things seem more real when everything is different like this.
Chico's wife is now into Adele, I told her she should listen to music like that while drinking tea. It's unbelievably relaxing.

missing something.

So I am sitting here at the Y and I am watching this guy, Ryan paint and he is amazing. He paints, does chalk drawings, charcoal, you name it, he does it. So why is he here? He is a bit of a loner and was planning on college, but when the subject arises all he ever says is " it just didn't work out." What didn't just work out? I wish I knew someone who I could show his paintings to , so that someone outside of the Y could see how skilled he is. He is good around kids and he obviously wants more than this. He has a kind spirit and deserves better than this . When I see him hunched over a canvas painting the same spot over and over again, striving for perfection, I realize that this is his dream , I just wish there was some way i could help him be happy.
I could be judging and he could already be happy, he says he is fine but his eyes say something completely different.

Grey's Anatomy last night was good, better than it had been in a while. Cristina talked about her past relationship and said that he wanted her to be something she was not. The more he asked the more she gave, he took little pieces of her until she didn't realize that she had changed. When I heard her say those words and I thought of myself and how much I had changed because of him and I honestly had no idea what to think of myself.
Songs that have been with me through the week are Wish You Well - Katie Herzig and Make You Feel My Love -Adele